when I decide to become pro in the art world. I just do this because I love drawing,because I love making comic, because its just what I do since Im young. and I just go with the flow.
but nobody warn me that this path going to be a constant battle with myself everyday.
some days I feel proud of my self that I become arrogant and made me feel Im better than some other people, and then I feel so guilty for having those shallow feelings.
some days I compare my self to others. feeling so small, feeling that my art are nothing, that so many great people in this world and I feel i wont be one of them,
and I feel the pressure to my existence.
and I just curled up in my bed and waste my time with depression.
no wonder some friend of mine saying that many artist are having problems with mood swing. most of us are fragile. most of us are attention seeker, most of us are just struggling to survive from our own negative mind.
but there are artist who become really big, who have amazing skill, who inspire others and have the power to change the world.
artist that dont give up , artist who are win in battle with themselves.
and show the world that to be a winner. you need all the luck you have, a hard work and dedication.
and the time to gain a success are different in every artist.. some get it in a young age.. and make people like me deadly jelous.
and some get it in old age, and gain respect and become a goal for the younger.
I still haven't be able to win in this battle, I think I still have a long way to go.
I just hope i still have the time left in my life, and I wont give up half way...